


Dead Ahead

by tqpannie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Crack, Drabble, Post-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-31
Updated: 2008-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-25 08:22:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10760394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tqpannie/pseuds/tqpannie
Summary: Hermione and Mumbles sail on the Titanic.





	Dead Ahead

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** No penguins were hurt in the writing of this story. This is for [](http://puffinz.livejournal.com/profile)[**puffinz**](http://puffinz.livejournal.com/) who requested Hermione/Mumlbes, Icebergs, and the phrase "Wait til you see what I can do with a herring." I think it's time for [](http://simons-flower.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://simons-flower.livejournal.com/)**simons_flower** to give you your happy pills now.

Hermione's head hurt from all the tap dancing. All she had wanted was a quiet cruise to forget her troubles.

Mumbles wouldn't stop dancing. She thought he might be trying to tell her something but you could never quite tell with a penguin. He could just be hungry but she was freezing and tired of playing guessing games.

If only Mumbles would stop dancing maybe she could focus on getting back to her room. It might have been the third glass of champagne that got to her or perhaps the cold but she wanted to be home with Ron.

"Mumbles!" Hermione put her hand on the penguins head. "Pretend for a moment I understand you."

Mumbles jumped up and did a quick cramproll.

He raised his flipper.

Hermione dove to the side as a large chuck of ice hit the deck.

"Iceberg dead ahead!" A voice shouted from the crows nest and she shook her head. "Turn about!"

 

Hermione wondered if the crew was just daft or blind. Mumbles was still jumping around and he took off waddling across the deck. Hermione followed behind him, slipping on the ice, and when Mumbles reached the radio room she followed him inside.

_Dot..Dot...Dot..._

"SOS?" Hermione gasped and looked out to see the deck quickly being covered by water. "We're sinking?"

Mumbles continued taping his beak on the Marconi device and Hermione looked around for a life jacket.

"The waters is going to be cold, Mumbles," Hermione drapped her scarf around his neck and he stopped taping to look at her. "Wouldn't want you to have a cold."

Mumbles stared at her for a moment, tapped his chest with his flipper, and rolled his eyes.

Hermione fought back tears and realized that while Mumbles could handle the cold she couldn't.

The ship was sinking faster, people cried out, and Hermione heard gun fire. She leaned her head against the wall and resigned herself to her fate.

"Hermione?"

Hermione lifted her head to find Ron sitting astride his broom and hovering over the water that continued to fill the hallways.

"Ron--how did you?"

"Who is that bloke?" Ron pointed to Mumbles. "What are you doing with him."

"That's Mumbles," Hermione took Ron's hand and let him guide her onto the broom. "He's my friend."

"Friend?"

"Ron, he's a penguin," Hermione giggled. "Jealous?"

"You snuggle with him--you should snuggle with me."

"Okay but you should see what he can do with a herring," Hermione's response was cut off when Ron's lips crashed down on hers. She shivered with delight and when the broke apart Mumbles applauded.

"Let's go home," Ron grinned and they took off from the radio room. "Besides I can do things with my tongue that will make you forget all about those herrings."

Hermione woke with a start and stared at the stuffed Mumbles in bed next to her. She slipped out of the bed and headed up the stairs towards Ron's room.

"Ron, wake up," Hermione said as she pushed open the door. "I had a dream that I was on the Titanic with Mumbles..."

"Hermione, no more Treacle Tart for you before bed," Ron sat up and blinked at her. "And I hate that ruddy stuffed animal."

Hermione launched herself at Ron, clamining his lips as her prize, and Ron surrender with a low moan.

Then they didn't talk at all for a long time and Mumbles lay forgotten in Hermione's bed.


End file.
